sunday thoughts on trafficking

At this very moment, 4:59 pm on March 13, 2011, I am convicted.

Mark and I slept in through church today (my fault - I'm the one who gets us up on Sundays). I was so sad to see the clock say 10:00 when I finally stopped snoozing, but that was reality. So I got up, played with Bandit for a while, washed my face, made coffee...the usual weekend routine.

(Speaking of Bandit, here he is enjoying the sunshine with crazy hair:)

Anyway, back to my conviction.

I'm not convicted about sleeping through church (although I'm not happy that it happened). I'm convicted because I'm sitting here, warm in my apartment, watching I Love Lucy, typing happily on my computer.

And all the while, there are young children who are scared, alone, starving, being kidnapped, raped, drugged, and forced to work against their will. There are more slaves at this very moment than there have ever been in history.

The facts are sickening. There are millions of children, teenagers, and women who are being forced to have sex with perverted men who are willing to pay for it, right now at this second. Many are being forced to have sex over 20 times a day. They can't escape, or their families will die.

The reality is that my sweet puppy is safer than millions of children are. So much is wrong with this picture. I know I shouldn't feel guilty for being fed, warm, and loved. I'm trying not to. Guilt doesn't accomplish much.

But conviction does.

Right now, Mark and I don't really have much extra money. But one day we will, and you can bet your bottom penny that stopping human trafficking is at the top of my list of things to fund.

Not only to fund, but to give my time to. And really, my life.

Because it's not right for a child's innocence to be taken away. It makes my heart, mind, and stomach sick to no end.

I'm glad for this, though, because I have no doubt that Jesus feels the same way.

("For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me" (Matthew 25:35-36). This passage is nice and neat in my mind, but it's not at all. Jesus is talking about the starving, naked, diseased. Those who are dying of thirst, who are being molested, who are poor through no fault or choice of their own. SLAVES. People who have no rights. And we are called to visit, clothe, heal, look after, rescue.)

Jesus is the only one who can give us the strength and knowledge to help. I know that I have no power apart from the Holy Spirit. So for now, I pray, and I will continue to. Every single day, as many times as I can. These children and teenagers and women deserve better.

I will stay informed, and I will inform others. We live in the age of technology and social media...to claim that I didn't know is ignorant. So inform yourself, and take action. I don't think for a second that God will accept the excuse that we were simply "unaware." How much more selfish can we be?

Educate yourself, and get the word out. It just as easily could be happening to you.

Check out the videos and info at these sites (it's worth your time):

Human Trafficking Info

Stop Child Trafficking Now

Red With Love

Not For Sale

Think it's not in your backyard? Think again.

cleaning up my messes

My life is such a paradox right now. There are things that I can't seem to get a grip on at all. But then, there are other things that seem to have come together.

Like my thoughts, for instance. I have finally figured out how to organize them. This is HUGE. My secret: lists.

Not to-do lists (although those are good too), but lists OF things. Running lists. You're confused...I can sense it. Here, I'll share. Currently, I have running lists of the following things (yes, there are a lot):

1) Music (to download)
2) Shopping/Present Ideas (for me)
3) Things to Research
4) Things to Make
5) Books to Read/Authors to Search
6) Lyrics to Search
7) Future House Plans
8) Movies to get on DVD
9) Littleton/Denver Churches to visit
10) Blogs to keep up with
11) Stores/Online I Love
12) Recipes/Cooking Websites
13) Websites I Love
14) Good etsy shops
15) Animated Disney Movies (checklist of ones I own)
16) Quotes I Love
17) Camp Life: Ideas (will blog about this later...it's my newest vision)
18) Movies to See
19) Ending human trafficking sites

And that's it for now. Here's how it works...I carry my list notebook in my purse all the time, and when I have a thought, I write it down. Sounds simple, right? It is.

So what's the revolutionary part? People have been doing this for years. True, but I haven't, and I've needed to. I realize that listing is not for everyone, but I'm so happy I've discovered a way to think clearly, record those thoughts, and go on living my life. The lists all just run together. I'm not very OCD...for instance, I don't leave pages in between, I just go to the next page at the back and re-label it. Example: 5 pages in a row with these headings - Quotes I Love, Things to Research, Quotes I Love, Movies to See, Things to Research...et cetera. When I think of a new category, I just start a new list. This whole thing has been going on for a few months now, and it makes me ecstatic. I don't think anyone would be able to tell a change from the outside, but my crazy mind sure is more at ease.

Most other things in my life are a total mess, though. Actually, EVERYTHING else in my life is.

Let's start with our apartment...SHEESH. What.is.wrong.with.me? No matter how hard I try, I can't get it together. There are piles everywhere. Piles of crap, on counters, floors, couches. In corners, drawers, shelves. It's overwhelming. The thing is, though - I don't like it this way. I truly do want it to be different. But, as I said to Mark earlier tonight, "Intentions aren't reality." I've got to change this reality soon, or Mark will die. (Okay, not really die, but he will be really frustrated with me.)

Our bathroom even needs to be cleaned, which irks me to no end. I despise dirty bathrooms. I had a thought earlier, though...last weekend, Mark and I went to Birmingham for his mom's wedding, and we stayed with his brother one night. His brother's bathroom was dirty (not extremely by any means; he just lives with guys, so I wasn't surprised), and I found myself sitting there analyzing the floorboards and the sink handles and things. How ridiculous, because when I got home later that afternoon, I noticed that our bathroom looked the exact same, if not worse. It's funny, huh - when it's your own dirt, you don't notice it nearly as much, and you're not as bothered by it. Hm.

The discipline in my life is a total wreck, too. I'm completely off. I'm trying to be good in this area by making a standard daily to-do list (separate notebook, also in my purse), but I am failing miserably. Yikes. There seriously aren't enough hours in the day...I'm going to start sleeping less.

There hasn't been a day since the new year has started that I haven't been utterly exhausted, though. After keeping a 5 month old, an almost 3 year old, and teaching 12 almost three year olds every day, I am W.I.P.E.D. O.U.T. in the worst way. After 7 pm, I'm useless.

It's getting late, and this blog doesn't make much sense or have a point. In other news, it's Bandit's BIRTHDAY! My sweet stinky pumpkin baby is ONE YEAR OLD. (Only moms understand those ridiculous names.) I am still as in love as ever.

My exhaustion is taking over. Blah. I'll end with this:

Every time I see this it brings me unspeakable joy.